KICKS LIKE A MULE IN WONDERLAND

Current mood: ASSIMILATED Category: ASSIMILATED Goals, Plans, Hopes Blimey.... I've decided to incorporate...that is i'm gonna become a corporation. I figure there's no choice.... Whilst I get the paperwork together, Paul Giovanni is taking over the good planet. This won't last too long,. Paul Giovanni is obviously the worst strainings of my womanising ego and taken allround a pretty dislikeable charcter, but he exists and I'm having to give him an airing or else he'll start playing up and ruin my life... Today has however been a strangely quiet day on Giovannis watch, so I'll delve into some general PPC news: For one, the balcony garden is really begining to take off now the beautiful sun is reigning. I have about 50 different varieties of veg/herbs/flowers on the go as well as 2 wormeries. It's a fuck of a lot of watering, but i guess it grounds me a little so isn't to be moaned...I'll be posting some shots when it's in full bloom in a month or so's time.. Otherwise I've been working my way through my drug money at a rather alarming rate and am now once again kingchastically skint... I'm due to go take a flu jab for £200 at the end of May, but am flying to Italy to watch cycling the same day so it might not happen...I reckon I'm gonna have to do another trial before the prosecco harvest comes in in September anyway.. Giovannism aside, I've spent a lot of this last 2 weeks thinking about and working with machines.. Yes, after building and working with computers for about 10 years, I've reached a temporary nadir.. I've built up a classic quiet machine and a wireless network and now I have 3 different machines all nattering away through music around my flat like a future display model...Jesus I can even talk to one and have it obey my every command whilst the others talk amongst themselves..It's fucking wierd The last and most bizarre moment of the PPC times is the film i'm working in... Basically I'm engaging with the gayest project I have ever done and am ever likely to do... I'm playing a naked (excepting a see thru apron) dancer in a reworking of Alice In Wonderland...It's a perverse homo erotic femo flick the like of which will mean I will never be able to be Bono - which is the main reason I'm doing it... I doubt I'll be posting it for all too see, mostly because I will have to kill myself if i ever see it myself... Other than all this, I bought a whole wardrobe of sportswear and 6 decent caps and I would have to say I feel generally pretty damn good... OLE!!!! Currently listening : Toxic By Britney Spears Release date: By 03 February, 2004 10:56 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

	Hijackalope	speak English motherfucker! Posted by Hijackalope on Thursday, May 03, 2007 at 1:45 AM [Reply to this]

	PLANET PAUL CENTRAL	You got a problem with foreigners???? Posted by PLANET PAUL CENTRAL on Thursday, May 03, 2007 at 1:57 AM [Reply to this]

	Los	hey i was browsing through blogs on the internet built into the PS3 i got for FREE from this site I agree with what u say in your blog and hey this free playstation 3 site is still giving out PS3s! Posted by Los on Sunday, May 13, 2007 at 6:32 AM [Reply to this]

The briefest of updates....

Current mood: COLLIDED
Category: COLLIDED Pets and Animals

bLIMEY...

I've become so preoccupied with my alter ego Paul Giovanni that I never have time for my real self. Could it be that I've become Paul Giovanni or is it all just myspazz fuss??

Time will tell.

Life is a little fesity out on Fish Island tonight anyway. The Prison gates are once again broken and the secutiry guard is earning his money. Meanwhile I'm drinking brandy and trying to wokr out just how i managed to spend all £1400 of my medical cash in just over a week.

I have a talent for money...

Talking of which, I had an email today from a bloke who wants to revieve the bankruptcy documentary abandonned about 9 months ago. He had my original posting from Shooting People in his 'Saved' box and a year later wants to know what's happening with it...Well I'm still bankrupt, so it can still be done. The problem was i really didn't like myself on camera and the others involved had other projects jumping higher so it floated down the river...

If I'm drunk enough it could still be a good program. I have ambitions to go into a bank and steal money in a clever manner whilst some worthy soul films it - why not??

I could write much more, in fact I'm close to verbally endless just now and have a new computer i can talk too, but I need to pretend to sleep...

If you want to read any of my more regular writing (and some of it's pretty good) go see Paul Giovanni and subscribe to his blog

Currently Listening : Solo Piano By Gonzales Release date: By 03 April, 2007

MONUMENT

MONUMENT
Current mood: FRIVOLOUS
Category: FRIVOLOUS Romance and Relationships

There we go - A few days without any kind entry.

Overall, I've been trebbble busy this 7: I've been taking asthma drugs and going to gigs, doing interviews and trying to stay on top of the organisational chaos of money that plagues this particular period of my life...

The key problem is that I owe about £50,000 to various banks. I haven't paid any of them a penny for more than 2 and a half years and it seems they're finally commin' to get me - which'll be fun..

Meanwhile, the professional drug taking has been going on all week. I went in for a coupla days and have since had to go in every morning for 10.20 for my fix. It's OK and a pretty easy £1400 for two weeks of inconcvenience and sobriety..

The irony of this has been (and allways seems to be) that the minute one goes sober, the free booze leaps form every doorway.

For example: Wednesday I had an interview with Scroobious Pip and Dan Le Sac

Next door was a private view with a bunch of free booze. I then went to a mates birthday just up the road and nextdoor was another private view with another bunch of free booze..

Any other week these things never seem to exist, but it's axiomatic that every week i'm sober for whatever reason everywhere is free booze city arizona and every fucker is offering me drinks like there's no tomorrow.
It even works for tea and coffee..

This aside, I did a days work on the canals which was very soothing and organic even though i was pulling rubbish out of the river and reeds all day long...

Yes, I floated around Fish Island for about 6 hours and learnt about the squatting hermit who lives over the canal. I learnt that Hindus throw candles and coconuts into the river as some kind of holy ceremony (only for unholy idiots like me to pull them out and throw them in the unholy rubbish) I also saw the woman who hurls all her used nappies out her window and into the canal - proper old London style...etc

The most curious incident of the week happenned today. A very strange event or rather combination of events that really quite freaked me out, but I think I'm gonna make it a separate entry and dram it up a bit so I'll be back with that soon...

Meanwhile here's a rather disgusting and unessecary jazzed up picture of me wearing my Haxted Cyntabulator..

Oh, and I've added the pictures of Cauty's show and a few others to brighten the last few entries up...

Currently Listening : Seek By Beanfield Release date: By 23 March, 2004

THE REVOLUTION IS OVER...

THE REVOLUTION IS OVER...
Current mood: BOOTYLICIOUS
Category: BOOTYLICIOUS Parties and Nightlife

Jesus, I can't be bothered to write anything tonight.

I cycled to Baywswater and back to see Jimmy Cauty & Gimpo (see as in stare at from a distance) and for most of that trip had a fucked front wheel that was making a noise like a tractor. All the bearings had fallen out, it was like driving through cement...

Anyway, it was all polite dissent in town today. You had Cauty (seen in the centre of the second shot) showing off his Magic Kingdom billboards, a whole bunch of ner'do wells at speakers corner harping on about the evils of the English.

There was a muslim rally under Marble Arch and I found a red sweat band on Oxford Street with Che's picture on and the word Guevara...

I hate Guevara...What the hell has he done apart form appear on millions upon millions of t-shirts looking all handsome and distant. He's the McDonalds of rebels - for all those who have no other imagination or insight to pick anyone else with a bit of spunk.....

So yeah, i starred at Cauty and his nearly new Cherokee Jeep from across the road and took a few pictures. At times you could barely see the oil critical pictures for the oil loving 4x4s

It's the first time I've seen him. I've seen Drummond a few times - I stalked the poor bastard around Soho once after bumping into him on a particularly wierd day.

I like Cauty's Magic Kingdom pictures anyway. You can see them at http://www.cnpdonline.com/

This late afternoon I went to the first night of Pull Up A Chair...I'm gonna be DJaying there in two weeks time, so you all have to come along and have your dreams of how fantastically handsome I am shatterred. That includes you Hijackalope - Get your stinking ass out of Hollywood or wherever it is you live and come and listen to me play records. That prospect by itself is worth the airfair and the intimate full body search your shifty appearance will most likely attract on the way and way back..

Meanwhile, this week is mental. I have a shoot tomorrow at 10 for a degree project, then a days work on the canals on Tuesday followed by a trip to Willesden in the evening. I might start the trial then, but if not I'll be down at 93 Feet East on Weds to see and interview Scroobius Pip and Dan Les Sac Even if i do start drugging it up I'll be out in time to do the same at the Spitz on Thursday. I'm of the opinion that Mr Le Sac is a very exciting producer so am dead chuffed to have pinned both him and Mr Pip down for some chat and the like...

The greatest threat to my health this week is that Princess Paola's gone to Italy to sort out her sisters new house, so I'll probably starve and/or get beaten up by the neighbours for having the friggin music too loud. I might even burn the house down if i get around to it...

APOCALYPTICO PT2 - THE HOODED MAN

So, the second part of this is really 2 separate parts..

I was too tired to finish the other day off by saying that as I'm sitting there wearing my Haskon Virtuator, I got to watch the 7th fire I've seen in London in 4 and a half years...

I was tapping away at this very machine and I could smell bruning. This is nothing unusual here on Fish Island. There are several businesses within a few hundred yards who frequently brun shit. There are also a band of kids who steal mototrbikes, ride them around then burn them...

Well, I ignored the smell thinking it was another Dominos Pizzas bike aflame, but it was getting stronger, so I peered out of the glass and found the 4 storey building opposite was going up a treat!

The building is derelict and behind it sits the biggest pile of dirt on Fish Island (there are many). It's been stood there for a while by itself, the rest has long since been turned to dust, but that bit stayed like a turret.

It's gone now. The day after the fireman closed the road and hosed the fucker down, the diggers knocked it over and now I can see the pile of dirt uninterupted on all sides.

I have photos of the whole scenario and of the Hiscock Gibralorra attached to my chest.- they will be on here just as soon as my new memory card reader arrives...


So, the next day I trailed back up to wonderful Willesden to return my Hecktish Fabulator. I arrived bang on 12.27pm which it turned out was the time i was supposed to be there...

On the way, I again had to walk through the living room of the Hooded man. He clearly lives just there on the side of the canal. This time his pushchair was loaded with rags and he was in the very same position, starring straight forward..

On the way back I could see him from a distance. He was pacing up and down. He saw me coming and when I was close, reassumed his position standing and starring at the water..

I'm gonna end up talking to the fucker. I can ignore almost anyone at will, but I can't walk through that guys front room everyday for 3 weeks and not at least say hello..

I like the area a great deal anyway. There are some decent derelict buildings. Plenty to explore...

APOCALYPTICO PT1

A ranodmised, double-blind, placebo-controlled, parallel-group, 14 day repeat dose study to investigate the safety, tolerability, pharmacokinetics and etxra-pulmonary, pharmacodynamics of inhaled doses of GW64244M formulated with magnesium stearate in healthy subjects.

I write this wearing my personal ECG machine called a a Horton Transmogrifya (something like that anyway). I got it today and have to wear it until 12.37pm tomorrow afternoon. The purpose is for the doctors on this medical trial to see what kind of electromagnetic shit my heart throws out over a 24 hour period...

Every so often I look down and see this little box attached to my belt from which a whole bunch of wires lead up to 4 stickers on my chest. I feel like a freakin cyborg and I have to say that it's not a bad feeling.

So, I found my way to the trials centre near Willesden without a hitch. The train was bang on time, indeed with each new journey, I'm growing to love the Silverlink Shuttle more: For 1 you rarely have to pay, for 2 you see the best grafitti in London and for 3 the very best faces..

Harlesdon/Willesden is mostly industrial warehouse zone, rundown canal, empty space, railway sidings and old terraces, everyone of which seems to be for rent or sale..

As usual, upon arrivAL, I fell in love with the place and considered moving there right away. How much are these Terraces? Could I commute? Where would I be commuting too? Are there any other farty arts types around here likely to cramp my style?

I took a right onto the canal..Half way along was a man. He was standing stock still starring forward. He was wearing a hoodie and he was starring straight ahead at the water. If you've ever seen the Banksy that used to be at the top of Columbia Road



Well, he was just like this except he wasn't a painting and he didn't appear to have any tourist information..

I walked past and nodded a smile. He stayed motionless. Next to him was a babies pushchair and inside was a large, water coller sized bottle of water or piss or something - I didn't let my eyes linger on it for too long...

The hospital I found was brand new and when i asked for the medical trials section, they said to go to the old hospital.

The old hospital building was half knocked down. It had diggers working on it. Looks great I thought. I'm in the middle of an industrial estate. There are banks on most street corners and a 24 hour Asda. I'm to entrust my life to Glaxo Smith Klien to test their asthma drugs. Whodjawot and why the hell not??

Screening was smooth. Doing a medical trial is much like working as an extra on a film. It's all smiles and faux friendliness when you're of some use and then more or less complete ignorance and contempt when you're not..

Well, I was of use today and I had my blood pressure tested and my ECG done 3 times. I lost a sample of piss and 3 syringes full of blood. I had my lung capacity tested. I answered all the questions about my medical history. I gave them my passport to photocopy and I read Heat magazine. It felt like I might be booking myself into some kind of nazi hotel..

Before I left, my Hortish Perambbulator (or whatever it's called) was fitted. I practised enhaling the drugs. I passed and 2 hours after arriving, walked back down the canal past the same hoodie man still starring straight forward into the murk as if his wife were there somewhere beneath the yellow, green water.....

PINK DAISIES

One thing that has allways bemused me is just exactly how we know that the earth has a crust, a mantle, and a core...

I mean no fucker has ever been even close to the centre of the earth, yet we're absolutely doggone certain that we know what's in the middle of this big ball of rock...

I'd like to make it known that I have no idea what's in the centre of the earth. There could be a herd of green elephants in miniskirts, a field full of raidoactive daisies or the remains of Hitler poking Uncle Saddam in the arse for all i know...

CRUST

THIS MAN IS EVIL

So after a quaint and almost normal entry yesterday, tonight I'm gonna kick off...

Basically, I want to waste a little of your time pointing out how bad Hijackalopes blog is and what a piece of shit he is as a 'person'.

To put it bluntly, this man cannot write more than 50 words at a time - in other words he's stupid. He's a terrorist sympathiser. He worships Saddam at a naked altar whilst burning tyres. He also worships the devil whilst wearing only a jockstrap and a vast ammount of hair gell..

He's a compulsive blashpema who starts every blog entry with FUCK and he dares to make music without any qualifications or talent..

Worse than any of this he keeps a small rat like creature called Kenny G in a bag in his house as if the poor rotten blighter is a bag of used clothes..

In short, this man is a friggin danger to civilization, freedom, humanity and everything we hold dear in the western world..It's all our duties to take this guy out!

So, go visit him and give him some abuse!!

HIJACKALOPE

NO FUN FOR A MONTH...

A full day of mostly nothing started with a call from Hammersmith Hospital resulting in an offer of £1400 to do a medical trial for an asthma drug.

Starting on the 22nd of this month, it'll last for about 3 weeks some of which will be inpatients and some overnight stays.

Though ideally I wouldn't have to do them, I don't mind medical trials once in a while. They work as detox. You can't drink caffeine or booze and all you have to do is sit around and laze away the day reading and thinking about how you're gonna spend the money when you come out.

A trial is also a handy source of biomechanical data on ones health and ftiness - the sort of thing you'd normally have to pay or hassell a doctor for. The last trial I did revealed I had high cholersterol (already) and more annoyingly a very low resting heart rate. My minimum is aroundabout 38bpm, the adult average is around 60bpm. Professional cyclists at the top of their game rarely get below 40 bpm so to be in that state of 'natural' fitness when i rarely exercise suggests 'I couda been a contender' and that makes me fucking mad if i think about it for too long...

My haemocrit level was a little low at 38, but that's what the pro cyclist take the drugs for, so it wouldn't have been a problem save the risk of a ban and a scandal...


Anyway, the best news today came from the Lea Valley Rivers Trust. I contacted them about doing some voluntary work on the canals around here and they got back to me saying yes. This is excellent news. Not only will I get my precious little hands dirty, but I'll get to swan about on bardges up and down the waterways like some kind of slow sea captain. I'll also be able to place my welly boots on the pulse of what's happening with the Olympics. All this is perfect for my Notes From Fish Island column..

My other main job today, was sorting out my 'Waiting' recordings.

4 or 5 years ago i was very into recording everything on minidisc. I got to realising that alot of the recordings were waits of one kind or another and so started to specifically record a series of waits..I planned and started a website to publicise these and encourgae other people to send in details of their waits and turn it into a bigger project...I found out about a week ago that someone is one the case, which saves me the job.. I contacted them and told them I had an archive of waits and he wants to hear them, so i've been listening through b4 sending...


The day's finished with a Gilbert and George documentary minus the sound. I got a message to my inbox form the driector this morning saying it was on. I guess he did a search for people with G&G in their profiles...

The no sound thing was double annoying because though I've seen them countless times, read all the books and seen a good deal of their art, I've never heard them speak other than very very briefly...

It looked like a good and interesting review of their careers, so I'll have to get otn this director about sending a copy...

ANOTHER BIG EXTRACT FROM THE JUNK

FROM: Viola
SUBJECT: We can't get away from learning.

Learning is all around - TV, newspapers, internet, conversations, etc. This can also lead to profound periods of darkness in life as well as psychological illness.
Healing is what happens to the wound.
We can explore the stories of people's lives that embrace mystery in concrete and authentic ways.
I find something of interest, I bookmark it, I share it, and I stream the listing into my website. It is also a fatal delusion. And remember, this is a BLOG, so don't expect academic rigor.
His reminder to us that time doesn't heal is an important one. The problem is, unless we face death, especially our own, we always wear the mask of fear.
Health as a Consequence of Thought and ChoiceI learned that health and illness were the consequence of the thoughts and choices people made. There are times in life when we feel a certain pull on our being as if we are being drawn towards something we cannot fully comprehend in that moment.
Are they social or are we in some significant manner more social because of them?
It is probably safe to say that we have all had experiences in life that have inspired awe and wonder. Another Voice of LifeIt all still feels glacial, this unlearning, reinvention stage that we're in.
Instead, we are lead to believe that lifelong learning is equated with economic utility. I am not trying to agree or disagree with you here, simply trying to explore it further.
We could lose the e - which is really an admission that it makes no sense anyway - and just have Learning 2.
Death is a powerful force in the quest to live a life worth living.
This kills the creative process and denigrates mystery to obsessively controlled activities and outcomes. Teachers and students are placed into a very precarious circumstance in education.
While I am not familiar with the how-to books, I know there are times when I go out and seek a precise answer to a problem I am having.
Creativity is a requirement for economic survival. It is safe to say that is the cognitive functioning of the brain cannot be adequately understood in isolation.

JUNK EMAIL OF THE LAST 2 DAYS - SELECTED LINES

FROM: STRAIGHT
SUBJECT: AS IT RATE

cause. And here, in dark, funereal stone, should rise another heads down and saying Come up again, dear. I shall only look There are few such prospects of town and village, woodland and his face, had died by her brothers hand, the wizard laughed aloud.


FROM: RUDELY
SUBJECT: SKETCH HACKSAW

Detail oriented, withexcellent communication skills.


FROM: SOLOMON
SUBJECT: Thursday: Attorneys for John Doe ask the U.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Chaos seems intuitively more normal.


FROM: ANJANETTE
SUBJECT: How's ur day goign

Hate. Love. Those are names. Rudy. say paste look Soon I am old.
Tap. Tap. Tap.


FROM: VEGA
SUBJECT: SO CALLED

The more insight into an artist's creative process I have - the greater is my joy.

Any in ourfamily, who wants to go join us.

All of the artists participating in the Awards go through atwo step selection process.

FROM: VEGAS VIP CASINO
SUBJECT: An INCREDIBLE Bonus

Gaming is Entertaining, and entertainment is the best in life.

JUNKIES AGAINST DOPE

FIRST HONDA ANNOUNCE THEY'RE PAINTING THE WORLD ON THEIR CARS TO HELP SAVE IT - AND NOW BRIDGESTONE ARE GETTING IN ON THE ACT...CAR MAKERS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT?!? SOUNDS LIKE JUNKIES AGAINST DOPE



FROM REUTERS

LUTON AIRPORT PARKWAY

OK..

So the Sting story is this.

He did an acoustic set for The Culture Show, much like the others I've witnessed and reported on in my GIOVANNI BLOG

Now being the new age kind of guy that he is, Sting had to get the right and indulgent gear to perform his song, and in this case the right and indulgent gear was deemed to be a Lute.

For those of you who might not have come across a Lute before, it's basically a small guitar like instrument as used in 'ye olde england'. Imagine, Monty Pythons The Holy Grail, think of the minstrels that accompany Brave Sir Robin, and one was probably clasping and gently plucking a Lute...

This in itself is pretty far off the mark. Rock stars and Lutes shouldn't really mix...Folk stars maybe, but not rock stars..I mean Bob Dylan could maybe get away with it, but no-one else and certainly not Sting..

Anyway, Laverne said she was doing the intro with him and there was a delay because the cameraman wasn't happy or the lights were wrong. She turned to see what the problem was and by the time she'd turned back to Sting, he 'd hoisted his leg up in the air above his head like some kind of yogic god!

Now I've nothing against Lutes or Yogic Positions, but just imagine this: A studio full of people, and at the focus of it is Sting, Lute in one hand and this fucking extended leg in the other, toes pointed skywards as if he were divining for rain...

What a picture!

The bidding war the tabloids would have indulged in for a slice of it would have been epic and extremely lucrative...Too bad no-one had a camera handy...

Anyway...I've spent all evening polishing up some new images and design for the GIOVANNI BLOG so go check it out - better still subscribe, and make me the happiest man on myspace...

LEMON STING

Well, what a fantastic spring day it was until about an hour ago!

To celebrate this, the official end of winter (WINTER IS NOW GONE, WINTER NEVER CAME, FUCK WINTER!!!) I took a ramble across Olympic park into Stratford. Once there, I played with money and when that was done with, I bought a lemon tree from Wilkinsons....

Wilkinsons is currently my favourite shop and today the choice of fruit and veg plants on display was outstanding: There was blackberry, raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, blackcurrant, fig, onions (red or white) asparagus, artichoke, grapes (red or white) apple and pear trees...

Frankly, I need a fucking garden installed here on Fish Island - There's more than 40 plants in the house and shit loads on the balcony and that's before spring planting has even started. It's getting like a rainforrest in here. Unless I get the situation under control, Sting'll be taking up residence and making a record about fish beauty using traditional instruments and native speaking men in short skirts...

Talking of which I heard a good Sting story from Lauren Laverne whilst waiting to do my KLF rockstar line last Tuesday (you're a starfucker Fullbrook)...I'll relate it in a minute just as soon as i've stuffed my face...

JUNK EMAIL OF THE DAY 02/03/07

i KNOW IT'S EARLY IN THE DAY, BUT THIS ONE'S GONNA TAKE SOME BEATING....


FROM: Gaynell Howell TITLE: It Is Fine, Dont' Worry


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JUNK MAIL OF THE DAY

I NEED TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS....WHY ON EARTH DOES JUNK MAIL COME WITH THIS CRAP/GENIUS BUILT INTO IT?? DOES ANYONE KNOW...IS IT TO DO WITH CHEATING THE FILTERS ON EMAIL PROGRAMS OR WHAT??

THIS IS THE EMAIL AS I FOUND IT UPON OPENING....


according to circumstances. What has been said of statements applies anyone so near, she looked at me a little longer, and perhaps with more process of change; and in the same way in all other cases it is by them are affected. What is meant is that these said qualities are

better and more honourable is said to have a natural priority. In standard, for if the terms great and small were used absolutely, a Occasionally, perhaps, it is necessary to coin words, if no word The term to have is used in various senses. In the first place

time of it with my Lord Advocate Grant, the best of ways; but to go to the constitution of every appropriate subject. For when a thing has affirmation or denial are not propositions; yet these two are said properly so called have, we may safely say, been enumerated.

his face was sly and handsome. I thought his eye took me in, but could intermediate, but those in the case of which no such necessity yellow, and such colours, though qualities, have no contraries. term small, nor much of little. And even though a man should

predicated; for it is those, as we proved, in the case of which case of a mans height; for he is said to have a height of three plain from the following facts: Of a pair of contraries such that they follows necessarily that he will forthwith definitely know that also

If one of two contraries is a quality, the other will also be a It may be questioned whether it is true that no substance is and all those qualities which are classed as dispositions. However character and difficult to displace, unless some great mental upheaval

thus destruction is the contrary of generation, diminution of remains unaltered, but it is at one time true, at another false, cannot be reversed. If there is the species water-animal, there will rudders. Thus we cannot use the terms reciprocally, for the word

that which is less; by less, less than that which is greater. attributes are removed and that alone is left in virtue of which it the subject. We proved, moreover, that those contraries have an accurate if we coined some word like ruddered as the correlative

But the annihilation of perception does not involve that of the teeth, but these are not called toothless or blind. better and more honourable is said to have a natural priority. In of contraries which have an intermediate. For under certain conditions

inequality are predicated of it. Each of the aforesaid quantities is which is headed, than as that of an animal, for the animal does properly so called have, we may safely say, been enumerated.

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

At the risk of destroying all good sense of moral and critical hardness, I have to admit tonight, that after having just watched and thoroughly enjoyed it, Four Weddings and a Funeral is going on my Favourite Films list..

Sure, it's a dippy middle class love story, but those are always the best when done well (love stories that is).

What's more, it has some damn fine observation, makes me laugh and with all the good will in the world can't be seen as anything other than well executed in it's aims.

So, I'm no longer a hardman, but such is life..

Anyway, I might redeem my cred a little this weekend, when, unless they cut it, I'm gonna be on TV very briefly talking up The KLF aka The K Foundations deserving of a plaque on the Jura outhouse where they burnt their million quid..

I only have a silent TV and no recorder of any kind, so if anyone can tape it onto something clever like DVD and send me it I'll be happy to exchange it for a copy of the complete KLF colection which comprises all their music and vids and films on 4 DVDs...

BBC2: The Culture Show, sometime around about 7pm..

Oh, and their's a dour and rather boring review of Bryan Ferry and Maximo Park perfoming on said show on my Giovanni blog as well as plenty of other new material...

FILM REVIEW: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Fuck it!..Another nazi film crept in through the backdoor..

I've read two books recently that have touched upon the wonderfulness of the film Life Is Beautiful. So respecting them both, i figured i had to watch it.

But i had no idea it was what it was....

And that is perhaps the genius of this film - that somehow it's title and then it's narration not only convinces the child of the game, but also the viewer. However as much as i can appreciate this on an aesthethic, artistic and cleverness level, I don't like nazi films full stop.

Fair enough, Life is Beautiful isn't disaster porn: There's no overt killings, no blood, no piano wire. This is - as far as i understand it - The Italian way (look good and look at the good!!). But I get really tired of this You have to go and see Aushwitz and/or watch Schindlers List to apprecaite just how bad nazism was..

Bullshit! I can appreciate that kind of evil from a far greater distance than that thank you very much, and no ammount of dramatic interpretations are going to make me any more contemptuos of it's inherrrent nastiness than I already am...

You reckon if Idi Amin had watched Schindlers List he'd have behaved any differently?? Shit, he'd have been taking notes, nevermind realising torture and systemnatic destruction was a bad idea and taking up flower arranging instead..

What's more, watching films like The Pianist, Schindlers List, Captain Corellis Mandolin just makess me racist against Germans. And though they behaved more than badly 60 odd years ago, they're not the only ogres in this world..

America will be bombing Iran before you can say 'Oh that's a nice nuclear reactor you've got there Mr President of I-ran' and the guys who'll be droppping the bombs and vanquishing the 'terrorists' as part of one of the greatest jokes of modern times (the war on terror) are descended from the liberators of the concentration camps..

Evil just goes around and around and the devil is a clever piece of shit. This being so, I think it's far better to recognise that and accept it rather than pretending it will ever stop or marching for peace with idiots like the holy Bono..

Well, Jesus, it's all a little heavy for this time of night I know, and I've got to get some sleep so I'm fresh for Bryan Ferry and Maximo Park in the morning, but Nazi films do my fucking head in..

SPAMALOT

Rather than filtering it, I'm getting into reading spam these days. Some of the nonsense you get in the text of adverts for Viagra etc is really quite something..I mean what the fuck has this got to do with anything and how did the spammer know or why did he bother to personalise it?? Or maybe it's just chance advice...

Date:	Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:36:41 -0180
From:	"Erin Maynard" Add to Address Book
To:	pgfox2002@yahoo.co.uk
Subject:	Save on your drugs with us RIGHT NOW!

Christ without, as to exclude Christ within, as an evidence of enemy?” Tell them of the necessity of mortification and self-the devil, which, like so many spiritual chains, bind down our Secondly, What are the chief reasons, why so many are no you may observe some features in his picture, odious as it is, birth, and that Christ must come into our hearts, we freely covenant of grace and redemption, to object against it.riches leave not the owner, the owners must soon leave them; voice, “Paul, much earning doth make thee mad.” To which enjoying God. And think withal, that every degree of holiness

Erin Maynard

Attachments

Photos:

Scan and Save to Computer Save to Yahoo! Briefcase ijdoa.gif (9k) [View]

BANKERS!!!

I read with interest that at last the gruesomely smug fuckers who rule our lives are being brought to account (ha ha!) on the issue of excessive charges.

But are they really?

If you want to reclaim back these illegal charges (aka series of petty thefts) you have to fill out forms and ask nicely, as opposed to the more normal porcedure of clubbing the greasey fuckers around the head and /or calling the police..

Is this is a new rule? When someone steals from you, you're only entitled to write them a letter and ask for it back?

If so, why is it that when I went into the bank today and tried appropriating my £10,000 inconvenience fee for them fucking up my direct debit, they clubbed me around the head, suggested i was a thieving shithead and called the police??

VERY RED

Well tonight I'm mostly sick and tired of celebrities with no souls rambling on about how they want to be Gandhi or reduce their carbon footprint or set up another concert to SAVE THE FUCKING WORLD and/or their dwindling and tawdry careers.

It's not that I'm particularly calous, or mean or that I want the world to live in endless starvation and war, so much as the fact that I used to rant on in this fashion when i was 16 and have now (thank fuck) realised what a complete load of shit this sort of talk is...

Crime and death and disease and humans pissing in the wrong places has happenned from Day 1 and it will continue, regardless of campaigns and initiatives and rock stars spouting off their blessed intentions from The Ritz whilst dressing their children in organic soup...

RED - How does spending more money on fashionable goods help anyone??

BONO - Shut the fuck up!

MADONNA - If you seriously want to end up like Gandhi, go and live in a fucking cut off village in India and spin wool all day and stop boring everyone with cheap and silly talk.

STING - Please don't reform The Police to fund your wifes spending habits, or for that matter, for any reason at all.

I've just had my brother and his wife up for a long weekend. Denise was born with her arms and legs frozen as if she were to remain foetal forever. She then had Polio, beat huge odds to survive and was later smashed into on a zebra crossing by some feckless idiot in a car - an accident which resulted in another batch of serious injuries...

If she can smile about the world and not bore me stupid with human doom and gloom then i fail to see why Bono and his band of worthy shitheads can't do likewise..

Be wary of these sucked out freaks...There's a lot of money, power and prestige in being charitable and this lot are lapping it up like milk slaves in the fucking dairy...

I'd like to nail them to the cross, but you get the impression that's just what they want..

THE BEST BLOG I KNOW

Does anyone read books these days??

Of course they do, but for how much longer paper and type will hold it’s own against ‘all wonder’ gadgets formerly known as mobile phones remains to be seen….

Personally, I couldn’t give a shit whether it’s one year or ten. A medium is a medium and if it works why not use it? I am however a little more concerned about changes in the quality and type of reading itself. You see, with attention spans shortening by the day and the publics interest increasingly lying in the ordinary rather than the extra-ordinary, the pursuit of excellence in the written word and for that matter the pursuit of any kind of creative excellence is becoming an irrelevant and outdated notion.

Yes boss, as we cruise through 2007, the written word is dumbing down. Rather than dipping into some huge and clever masterpiece like Crime and Punishment or even a slag rag like The Daily Mail, your average Joe now prefers to read a blog about someones visit to the chemist or some half cocked view of Middle Eastern Politics as sifted through a ringer.

In short: the once elite word is returning to the people.

So, am I against democracy of the word???

Too fucking right I am! How the hell am I supposed to make a living out of writing words if people are getting all their reading matter supplied by amateurs every time they turn the net on???

I'm not bitter, in fact I wuldn't mind at all if blogs were any good, but this is the nub of the problem with blogs: QUALITY: Specifically, how does one find the good blogs amongst the reams of shit that is put online daily by people trying to kill time at work?

Pure chance probably and that’s how I came along this one.

The premises of Hijackalopes blog is simple: Every now and then he tells a 2 to 3 line story of what he and Kenny G have been doing. For example:

Fucking Kenny G's house plant from hell

I had that flash of Deja Vu again about the last time I remember thinking I had a Deja Vu moment but not really remembering the event, just the feeling of Deja Vu.

Unlike visiting the strip club "Deja Vu" which if even I was too drunk to remember, I would still have the signs of...(i.e. bruises, sudden lose of money and unknown pubic hair stuck betwixt my dental work.)

Oh by the way, Kenny G's albino goat kid just took a shit in my potted house plant.

Or how about this one

Kenny G is a fucking fucker
Category: School, College, Greek

Kenny G's Indian friend Indian Johnny came by yesterday. He sat and watched The Price is Right. He did not blink once. I watched him from my bathroom through a hole in the door. I did not blink once. Unless he only blinked when I blinked. It is possible.

Now, what makes this great is that after about a year of reading these blogs, I still don’t have the first clue as to who or what Kenny G is. I of course have an idea, and this idea is that he's some kind of living sock with apalling manners and a beer belly - something like (for those of you olde and British enough to remember) Roland Rat.

I may of course be wrong, but who cares, the genius here is that the brevity and lack of detail - one of the hells of the modern writing epoch - is worked and adapted to good effect. With Hijackalope there’s no clutter of detail. No complex character development and no nonsense, and the result is very often perfect…

So, get along to Hijackalopes page and meet Kenny G!

http://www.myspace.com/hijackalope

GENERAL BOASTING

UPDATES
Current mood: accomplished

HERE WE GO WITH SOME MORE TRUMPET BLOWING AND GENERAL BOASTING

I've started up a new blog, or rather 4 new blogs here
BLOG
I'LL BE UPDATING THESE PRETTY REGULARLY WITH THE AIM OF FINE TUNING MY JOURNALISM/SHORT PIECE WRITING SKILLS...AT PRESENT YOU CAN FIND THE FIRST NOTE FROM FISH ISLAND, BOTH OF THE JAMES DEMAN DIARIES SOME PAUL GIOVANNI WORK AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS CRAP..

WRITING ASIDE, I'VE BEEN INVOVLED WITH AROUND 20 FILM AND TV PRODUCTIONS OVER THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF.
ONE OF THE FIRST TO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY COMES INTO UK CINEMAS SOMETIME AROUND FEBRUARY 15TH

CASHBACK

CASHBACK WAS THE FIRST FILM I WORKED ON. I WAS EXTRA FOR 3 DAYS AND FULFILLED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT BACKGROUND ROLES

ONE SUCH ROLE WAS THE 30TH BIRTHDAY PARTY SCENE. HERE, I CAN BE SPIED HIDING UNDER THE RED CAP BIGGING IT UP WITH THE KID FROM SLEEPY HOLLOW



MY MOST RIDICULOUS MOMENT ON THIS ONE, WAS FILLING IN FOR THE CHARACTER OF STEVE JENKINS...

BASICALLY, THEY CUT THE SHOT OF SUZY (MICHELLE RYAN) WRITING THE PHONE NUMBER (VIEWABLE IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE FILM VIEWABLE HERE)


MEANWHILE HERE'S A PHOTO OF THE LOVELY EMILIA FOX (AND MY FEET) CHATTING AWAY TO HER BOYFRIEND DURING LUNCH.... BREAK



ANOTHER SUB PORNO FILM I WORKED WAS CALLED NIGHTJUNKIES THIS IS QUITE PROBABLY AWFUL, BUT INCASE YOU'RE INTERESTED THE TRAILER IS VIEWABLE ON THE ABOVE LINK AND TO (IN SOME WAY) BALANCE THE PREVIOUS SHOT HERE'S A STILL OF MY BIG BALD HEAD AT THE FEET OF THE LEAD ACTRESS RUBY AKA KATIA WINTER...



HAVING WORKED ON THESE AND MANY OTHER FILM RELATED PROJECTS, THE QUESTION I HAVE IN MY HEAD CURRENTLY, IS HOW COME SEX AND NAKEDNESS HAS BECOME SO ESSENTIAL TO FILM?? ISN'T THIS ENDLESS PROVACATIVE FLESH GETTING A LITTLE BORING?? AND ISN'T SEX ON IT'S WAY OUT ANYWAY??

I'LL BE DOING 2 FRESH NOTES FROM FISH ISLAND EXPLORING SUCH NOTIONS, AS WELL AS OTHER THOUGHTS GAINED FROM WORKING ON THESE TWO FILMS IN THE FORTHCOMING WEEKS....

I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED

VB
p USING THE ORIGINAL ACTOR, BUT ON THE LAST DAY OF TIDYING AT PINEWOOD STUDIOS THEY WANTED TO REDO IT, AND WITH THE ORIGINAL ACTOR NOT BEING AVAILABLE, THEY PULLED ME IN AS THE CLOSEST MATCH..I CAN'T BE SURE IF THE VERSION THEY'VE USED IN THE FINAL CUT OF THE FILM IS THE ONE I DID OR THE ORIGINAL...I'LL REPORT BACK WHEN I'VE SEEN IT ON THE BIG SCREEN

8:2

WATCHING A SLOW CAR WRECK.....

I noticed the beached Volvo by accident.

The glass that makes up one side of this flat, looks down across an artery of Londons main sewer onto a barren parking yard and then finally to a roundabout on a slight slope. It's a desolate perspective and one that, short of the kids racing stolen and unlicensed motorbikes, rarely sees any kind of action...

You see, the road is rarely busy and certainly isn't anything approaching fast.

So when i noticed the Volvo sitting half on and half off the roundabout, apparently stuck from a moments ill concentration, I decided to see what might happen next.

Wasting as little time as possible, I got my binoculars from the bedroom tree, trained them on the scene and waited for an event...

I scanned up and down and tried to work it out.

It was certainly nothing serious - the car was just beached like a suicidal whale. One good hump would see it clear and on it's way. Yes, it was a nothing type of crash, most likely caused by a moments misjudgement, either that or the car was stolen and had been dumped...

The only thing that was strange, was that no-one appeared to have got out of the car. They must be in there revving the engine, they're trying to get enough power to jump it back onto the road I thought. I checked the exhaust, but there was nothing doing.

First on the scene was the driver of a small van. He pulled up and had a look and stayed with the car, meanwhile all other traffic simply steered around the semi obstacle and without a serious glance went on it's way..

When a mini digger appeared and placed itself at the front of the car as if it was going to lever it back onto the road I felt content that I wasn't wastng my time. This is just the ticket, the police don't need to be involved with a mishap of this sort. Just get the thing levered up and moved and get on with it...Come on Digger boy hoik it up!

But seconds after it arrived, the digger sped around, off and over the roundabout like a naughty child who'd stolen a bag sweets.

Wierd..

5 or more minutes later, a police car showed up...Here we go, here comes the over reaction I thought.

Next a fire engine....then another.

Stop blocking the fucking road! Jesus!

Then an ambulance, then another ambulance and a couple of what looked like CID cars and another police car and a policevan...

Haven't you lot got paperwork to complete?!

10 minutes later it was dark. The road was completely closed off, the lights of the vehicles made a mini rave out of the roundabout, and it was when the third fire engine arrived that i realised that somehow this was very much more serious than it looked...

But how? There hadn't even been a collision? The car was simply sat half on and half off a roundabout. Perhaps the driver had passed out or had a fit or a heart attack...Shit, maybe he was strapped in there like a crash test dummy oblivious to his luck..

Whatever it was, there was definately something or someone in there - 15 firemen were stood around the Volvo as if it held a popular market stall or the dead body of Anna Nicole Smith...

I kept concentration, resisting Princess Paolas demands to hand the binoculars over.

Ten or more minutes later, the firemen peeled the roof up and over like a can of sardines...

WOW!

There were stretchers and more stretchers and after a manoeuvre up and then down, they pulled someone out and onto it. He wore an oxygen mask and he looked stiff.

Well there he goes I thought, poor bastard was probably on his way home from work wondering about dinner or football and the next thing he knows he's in a-

But it wasn't over. The fireman still ringed the vehicle and then they were down and back up in the same manoeuvre and out came another motionless body..

What next??

More of the same was what next. Again, they were down and then back up and out came body number 3

And then that was it.

The fireman stood back, the police returned to their banter, the ambulances slunk off with their heavy cargo and in another half hour all that was left was the Volvo, still beached, but now looking like it had been dropped by godzilla....

So what are we having for dinner then? I asked Princess Paola

EXHIBITION REVIEW: FROM MANET TO PICASSO

I was wandering about town inbetween appointments. A limited fountain of cash suggested i was best off using my time for free, so i wandered into the National Gallery....

It was the first time I'd been inside the NG for a good long while and I found myself wondering why..

The thing is, though I love art, I don't quite know what to do with galleries. I'm not a painter, so i can't carefully study the brushstrokes until the inspiration bullseyes me and I run out to grasp a brush. Neither do i find much value in starring at things that aren't moving at all...

Art aside, each time i venture inside a gallery, I always find a host of wonderfully beautiful people wandering about. Indeed i find this to be so consistent, I fear I have some kind of art lovers fetish. This fetish does of course provide an immediate reason to go in, but also a strong reason to avoid all galleries full stop. An infatuation is a fine thing, but abandonning one is like tearing your heart out and spitting on it, and pain of this type can be only tolerated occasionally...

Anyway, this time I went in, and soon found I was in for a very special treat. Not only did i feast my eyes upon a chiselled face of such unprecedented beauty it outshone almost all of the art on show, but there was a small and strangely positioned exhibition in the basement called 'From Manet To Picasso'..

'Oi, Oi,' I thought. Here's something i can deal with...

So, I glided down the stairs as if some kind of regal princess and found a set up of such simplicity and smallness containing such bigness that it confused me immesureably..

I mean, there I was in the very center of central London in one of the biggest and most pompous galleries of them all and stashed away in the basement - as if it were an afterthought - was an exhibtion full of paintings from the archives...

The word 'archives' susually makes you think of the sort of things you keep in the back of the wardrobe/cardboard for a rainy day: Things like old leters or badly fitting trousers and unwanted christmas presents. The National Galleries 'archives' are however really rather large and not at all embarassing..

Yes boss, we're not talking small unknowns here, but the very biggest of big boys. There's one of Van Goghs 'Sunflowers' and a room full of Monets in this exhibition..There's also several beautifully fine Seurats, a single and lonely Picasso, Manet at his best, Gaugin and Rousseau

In short, this exhibtion is a gem and a mystery..I mean, Wow and Great!!!

But why are such big and important works hidden away in the lowest ceilened room of the lot???...The space is barely the size of the cloakroom, there's no bulletproof glass or heavy spies watching you watching the paintings..And best of all you pay nothing..

V
e
r
y

strange....And worth a look...

SATURDAY NIGHT

Bored and tired on a Saturday night, trying to focus steamed concentration on the words and the bees whilst a Song Thrush sits upright in the remains of the trees, like some kind of proud and dignified soldier.

It's singing.

It sings all night everynight and I don't know why it bothers.

Perhaps to jump the queue for a girlfirend for Spring.

Or perhaps it likes to do what it does

Or perhaps it thinks it's a fucking musician or something

THIS IS PROFESSIONAL CYCLING AT IT'S BEST..

Borrowed from www.cyclingnews.com

Italian Salvatore Commesso is entering his tenth year as a professional cyclist, and the skills that garnered him two national championships were just what Omar Piscina and Oleg Tinkov wanted when forming their new team, Tinkoff Credit Systems. Gregor Brown of Cyclingnews spoke with Totò about his off-season transfer right after the team's training camp, on the day of its presentation in Rome.

"I have one child, a boy; he is three years-old," the 32 year-old explained to me as we sat down on a couch in the lobby of Hotel Victoria Roma on the day of the team's presentation. "His name is Dylan. My wife and I actually selected the name because it was a name that we liked from Beverly Hills 90210, the name of the character played by Luke Perry. When we heard it, we immediately liked. You know he drove a Porsche in the show, and, of course, at the end he had a drug problem but it was the name we liked.

"We are expecting another child around June. Maybe it will be a girl," he proudly continued. Will it be a 90210 name for him or her? "No. We have been thinking of the names. 'Ginevra' we like a lot. Like the wife of King Arthur."

THE DAY I STOPPED CARING ABOUT THE GULLS...

The world is coming to end...at least that's what The Independent says on every front page.

I'm tired of it.

Before the day I stopped caring about the gulls, I worried about the poor gulls getting strangled in those stupid bits of plastic that connect cans of drink. I understood they died horribly. One published photo of a Herring Gull entangled and everyone tore them apart - like they were the worlds greatest enemy..

Since the day I stopped caring about the gulls, I leave the rings whole and think instead that each gull who roots through my rubbish will - if it's lucky - twist itself into a brave new look. Wearing it's new plastic appendage, it will be loved by Alexander McQueen and feted by Vogue. Elton John will invite it to his birthday party and buy copies of it's cd for all his friends.

And then that gull will thank me...

THE WAR IS OVER....

The war on terror might be a ridiculous nonsense double talk, but it appears to be winning. The middle east is becoming the western east and that's all there is to it.....

Yes, on the day that sees Israel step up it's bombardment with the sort of ease more normally associated with pressing ones foot on the acelarator, with Fidel appearing to be fading away, the banks recording record profits, and we in the west being fed the sort of news coverage which suggests the US will do exactly what it wants, when it wants, it's difficult ot see anything other than the further expansion of the western capitalist world and to hell with the consequences!!.....

We have the money, the power, the bombs and the will to say DO WHAT WE SAY!!!!

So the question has to be asked is this really a bad thing???

Well in my heart it's an unfair human nightmare of the worst sort - a vicious and nasty aberation, but I'm saying this from a nice flat on the edge of the olympic village with a fridge full of food and no job to have to go to tomorrow. I have acres of possesions and a decent personal life, I'm sitting pretty and wars like this one substantiate my lifestyle.

This can't be ignored....Mine and everyone elses in the western world, is a lifestyle funded and fueled by oil, money and power, so to suggest we shouldn't be fighting for these things is somewhat ridiculous, unless we want to leave our wealth behind.

So, regardless of my own moral indignation at what is happening, I know it's just another war over resources, the like of which have and will continue to plague the human world for time immemorial. This is industrial life and we in the west are on the winning side...

Perhaps when i see the legions of Michael MORE fans, disbanding their security, burning their cars, putting on a shemagh, preparring to die and moving to join the war, I might believe their is another possible outcome and a revolution of sorts, but at the moment I can't see it...

We don't have to get ready for to recieve the spoils of war, we are already recieving them...George and Tony are just doing their job in keeping us as we are...

Basically, I don't want to hear all the moaning about death and destruction.... Give it all up and then protest...