WATCHING A SLOW CAR WRECK.....
I noticed the beached Volvo by accident.
The glass that makes up one side of this flat, looks down across an artery of Londons main sewer onto a barren parking yard and then finally to a roundabout on a slight slope. It's a desolate perspective and one that, short of the kids racing stolen and unlicensed motorbikes, rarely sees any kind of action...
You see, the road is rarely busy and certainly isn't anything approaching fast.
So when i noticed the Volvo sitting half on and half off the roundabout, apparently stuck from a moments ill concentration, I decided to see what might happen next.
Wasting as little time as possible, I got my binoculars from the bedroom tree, trained them on the scene and waited for an event...
I scanned up and down and tried to work it out.
It was certainly nothing serious - the car was just beached like a suicidal whale. One good hump would see it clear and on it's way. Yes, it was a nothing type of crash, most likely caused by a moments misjudgement, either that or the car was stolen and had been dumped...
The only thing that was strange, was that no-one appeared to have got out of the car. They must be in there revving the engine, they're trying to get enough power to jump it back onto the road I thought. I checked the exhaust, but there was nothing doing.
First on the scene was the driver of a small van. He pulled up and had a look and stayed with the car, meanwhile all other traffic simply steered around the semi obstacle and without a serious glance went on it's way..
When a mini digger appeared and placed itself at the front of the car as if it was going to lever it back onto the road I felt content that I wasn't wastng my time. This is just the ticket, the police don't need to be involved with a mishap of this sort. Just get the thing levered up and moved and get on with it...Come on Digger boy hoik it up!
But seconds after it arrived, the digger sped around, off and over the roundabout like a naughty child who'd stolen a bag sweets.
Wierd..
5 or more minutes later, a police car showed up...Here we go, here comes the over reaction I thought.
Next a fire engine....then another.
Stop blocking the fucking road! Jesus!
Then an ambulance, then another ambulance and a couple of what looked like CID cars and another police car and a policevan...
Haven't you lot got paperwork to complete?!
10 minutes later it was dark. The road was completely closed off, the lights of the vehicles made a mini rave out of the roundabout, and it was when the third fire engine arrived that i realised that somehow this was very much more serious than it looked...
But how? There hadn't even been a collision? The car was simply sat half on and half off a roundabout. Perhaps the driver had passed out or had a fit or a heart attack...Shit, maybe he was strapped in there like a crash test dummy oblivious to his luck..
Whatever it was, there was definately something or someone in there - 15 firemen were stood around the Volvo as if it held a popular market stall or the dead body of Anna Nicole Smith...
I kept concentration, resisting Princess Paolas demands to hand the binoculars over.
Ten or more minutes later, the firemen peeled the roof up and over like a can of sardines...
WOW!
There were stretchers and more stretchers and after a manoeuvre up and then down, they pulled someone out and onto it. He wore an oxygen mask and he looked stiff.
Well there he goes I thought, poor bastard was probably on his way home from work wondering about dinner or football and the next thing he knows he's in a-
But it wasn't over. The fireman still ringed the vehicle and then they were down and back up in the same manoeuvre and out came another motionless body..
What next??
More of the same was what next. Again, they were down and then back up and out came body number 3
And then that was it.
The fireman stood back, the police returned to their banter, the ambulances slunk off with their heavy cargo and in another half hour all that was left was the Volvo, still beached, but now looking like it had been dropped by godzilla....
So what are we having for dinner then? I asked Princess Paola
The glass that makes up one side of this flat, looks down across an artery of Londons main sewer onto a barren parking yard and then finally to a roundabout on a slight slope. It's a desolate perspective and one that, short of the kids racing stolen and unlicensed motorbikes, rarely sees any kind of action...
You see, the road is rarely busy and certainly isn't anything approaching fast.
So when i noticed the Volvo sitting half on and half off the roundabout, apparently stuck from a moments ill concentration, I decided to see what might happen next.
Wasting as little time as possible, I got my binoculars from the bedroom tree, trained them on the scene and waited for an event...
I scanned up and down and tried to work it out.
It was certainly nothing serious - the car was just beached like a suicidal whale. One good hump would see it clear and on it's way. Yes, it was a nothing type of crash, most likely caused by a moments misjudgement, either that or the car was stolen and had been dumped...
The only thing that was strange, was that no-one appeared to have got out of the car. They must be in there revving the engine, they're trying to get enough power to jump it back onto the road I thought. I checked the exhaust, but there was nothing doing.
First on the scene was the driver of a small van. He pulled up and had a look and stayed with the car, meanwhile all other traffic simply steered around the semi obstacle and without a serious glance went on it's way..
When a mini digger appeared and placed itself at the front of the car as if it was going to lever it back onto the road I felt content that I wasn't wastng my time. This is just the ticket, the police don't need to be involved with a mishap of this sort. Just get the thing levered up and moved and get on with it...Come on Digger boy hoik it up!
But seconds after it arrived, the digger sped around, off and over the roundabout like a naughty child who'd stolen a bag sweets.
Wierd..
5 or more minutes later, a police car showed up...Here we go, here comes the over reaction I thought.
Next a fire engine....then another.
Stop blocking the fucking road! Jesus!
Then an ambulance, then another ambulance and a couple of what looked like CID cars and another police car and a policevan...
Haven't you lot got paperwork to complete?!
10 minutes later it was dark. The road was completely closed off, the lights of the vehicles made a mini rave out of the roundabout, and it was when the third fire engine arrived that i realised that somehow this was very much more serious than it looked...
But how? There hadn't even been a collision? The car was simply sat half on and half off a roundabout. Perhaps the driver had passed out or had a fit or a heart attack...Shit, maybe he was strapped in there like a crash test dummy oblivious to his luck..
Whatever it was, there was definately something or someone in there - 15 firemen were stood around the Volvo as if it held a popular market stall or the dead body of Anna Nicole Smith...
I kept concentration, resisting Princess Paolas demands to hand the binoculars over.
Ten or more minutes later, the firemen peeled the roof up and over like a can of sardines...
WOW!
There were stretchers and more stretchers and after a manoeuvre up and then down, they pulled someone out and onto it. He wore an oxygen mask and he looked stiff.
Well there he goes I thought, poor bastard was probably on his way home from work wondering about dinner or football and the next thing he knows he's in a-
But it wasn't over. The fireman still ringed the vehicle and then they were down and back up in the same manoeuvre and out came another motionless body..
What next??
More of the same was what next. Again, they were down and then back up and out came body number 3
And then that was it.
The fireman stood back, the police returned to their banter, the ambulances slunk off with their heavy cargo and in another half hour all that was left was the Volvo, still beached, but now looking like it had been dropped by godzilla....
So what are we having for dinner then? I asked Princess Paola
posted by THE FREEEER FISH at 11:10 pm
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