MONUMENT

MONUMENT
Current mood: FRIVOLOUS
Category: FRIVOLOUS Romance and Relationships

There we go - A few days without any kind entry.

Overall, I've been trebbble busy this 7: I've been taking asthma drugs and going to gigs, doing interviews and trying to stay on top of the organisational chaos of money that plagues this particular period of my life...

The key problem is that I owe about £50,000 to various banks. I haven't paid any of them a penny for more than 2 and a half years and it seems they're finally commin' to get me - which'll be fun..

Meanwhile, the professional drug taking has been going on all week. I went in for a coupla days and have since had to go in every morning for 10.20 for my fix. It's OK and a pretty easy £1400 for two weeks of inconcvenience and sobriety..

The irony of this has been (and allways seems to be) that the minute one goes sober, the free booze leaps form every doorway.

For example: Wednesday I had an interview with Scroobious Pip and Dan Le Sac

Next door was a private view with a bunch of free booze. I then went to a mates birthday just up the road and nextdoor was another private view with another bunch of free booze..

Any other week these things never seem to exist, but it's axiomatic that every week i'm sober for whatever reason everywhere is free booze city arizona and every fucker is offering me drinks like there's no tomorrow.
It even works for tea and coffee..

This aside, I did a days work on the canals which was very soothing and organic even though i was pulling rubbish out of the river and reeds all day long...

Yes, I floated around Fish Island for about 6 hours and learnt about the squatting hermit who lives over the canal. I learnt that Hindus throw candles and coconuts into the river as some kind of holy ceremony (only for unholy idiots like me to pull them out and throw them in the unholy rubbish) I also saw the woman who hurls all her used nappies out her window and into the canal - proper old London style...etc

The most curious incident of the week happenned today. A very strange event or rather combination of events that really quite freaked me out, but I think I'm gonna make it a separate entry and dram it up a bit so I'll be back with that soon...

Meanwhile here's a rather disgusting and unessecary jazzed up picture of me wearing my Haxted Cyntabulator..

Oh, and I've added the pictures of Cauty's show and a few others to brighten the last few entries up...

Currently Listening : Seek By Beanfield Release date: By 23 March, 2004

THE REVOLUTION IS OVER...

THE REVOLUTION IS OVER...
Current mood: BOOTYLICIOUS
Category: BOOTYLICIOUS Parties and Nightlife

Jesus, I can't be bothered to write anything tonight.

I cycled to Baywswater and back to see Jimmy Cauty & Gimpo (see as in stare at from a distance) and for most of that trip had a fucked front wheel that was making a noise like a tractor. All the bearings had fallen out, it was like driving through cement...

Anyway, it was all polite dissent in town today. You had Cauty (seen in the centre of the second shot) showing off his Magic Kingdom billboards, a whole bunch of ner'do wells at speakers corner harping on about the evils of the English.

There was a muslim rally under Marble Arch and I found a red sweat band on Oxford Street with Che's picture on and the word Guevara...

I hate Guevara...What the hell has he done apart form appear on millions upon millions of t-shirts looking all handsome and distant. He's the McDonalds of rebels - for all those who have no other imagination or insight to pick anyone else with a bit of spunk.....

So yeah, i starred at Cauty and his nearly new Cherokee Jeep from across the road and took a few pictures. At times you could barely see the oil critical pictures for the oil loving 4x4s

It's the first time I've seen him. I've seen Drummond a few times - I stalked the poor bastard around Soho once after bumping into him on a particularly wierd day.

I like Cauty's Magic Kingdom pictures anyway. You can see them at http://www.cnpdonline.com/

This late afternoon I went to the first night of Pull Up A Chair...I'm gonna be DJaying there in two weeks time, so you all have to come along and have your dreams of how fantastically handsome I am shatterred. That includes you Hijackalope - Get your stinking ass out of Hollywood or wherever it is you live and come and listen to me play records. That prospect by itself is worth the airfair and the intimate full body search your shifty appearance will most likely attract on the way and way back..

Meanwhile, this week is mental. I have a shoot tomorrow at 10 for a degree project, then a days work on the canals on Tuesday followed by a trip to Willesden in the evening. I might start the trial then, but if not I'll be down at 93 Feet East on Weds to see and interview Scroobius Pip and Dan Les Sac Even if i do start drugging it up I'll be out in time to do the same at the Spitz on Thursday. I'm of the opinion that Mr Le Sac is a very exciting producer so am dead chuffed to have pinned both him and Mr Pip down for some chat and the like...

The greatest threat to my health this week is that Princess Paola's gone to Italy to sort out her sisters new house, so I'll probably starve and/or get beaten up by the neighbours for having the friggin music too loud. I might even burn the house down if i get around to it...

APOCALYPTICO PT2 - THE HOODED MAN

So, the second part of this is really 2 separate parts..

I was too tired to finish the other day off by saying that as I'm sitting there wearing my Haskon Virtuator, I got to watch the 7th fire I've seen in London in 4 and a half years...

I was tapping away at this very machine and I could smell bruning. This is nothing unusual here on Fish Island. There are several businesses within a few hundred yards who frequently brun shit. There are also a band of kids who steal mototrbikes, ride them around then burn them...

Well, I ignored the smell thinking it was another Dominos Pizzas bike aflame, but it was getting stronger, so I peered out of the glass and found the 4 storey building opposite was going up a treat!

The building is derelict and behind it sits the biggest pile of dirt on Fish Island (there are many). It's been stood there for a while by itself, the rest has long since been turned to dust, but that bit stayed like a turret.

It's gone now. The day after the fireman closed the road and hosed the fucker down, the diggers knocked it over and now I can see the pile of dirt uninterupted on all sides.

I have photos of the whole scenario and of the Hiscock Gibralorra attached to my chest.- they will be on here just as soon as my new memory card reader arrives...


So, the next day I trailed back up to wonderful Willesden to return my Hecktish Fabulator. I arrived bang on 12.27pm which it turned out was the time i was supposed to be there...

On the way, I again had to walk through the living room of the Hooded man. He clearly lives just there on the side of the canal. This time his pushchair was loaded with rags and he was in the very same position, starring straight forward..

On the way back I could see him from a distance. He was pacing up and down. He saw me coming and when I was close, reassumed his position standing and starring at the water..

I'm gonna end up talking to the fucker. I can ignore almost anyone at will, but I can't walk through that guys front room everyday for 3 weeks and not at least say hello..

I like the area a great deal anyway. There are some decent derelict buildings. Plenty to explore...

APOCALYPTICO PT1

A ranodmised, double-blind, placebo-controlled, parallel-group, 14 day repeat dose study to investigate the safety, tolerability, pharmacokinetics and etxra-pulmonary, pharmacodynamics of inhaled doses of GW64244M formulated with magnesium stearate in healthy subjects.

I write this wearing my personal ECG machine called a a Horton Transmogrifya (something like that anyway). I got it today and have to wear it until 12.37pm tomorrow afternoon. The purpose is for the doctors on this medical trial to see what kind of electromagnetic shit my heart throws out over a 24 hour period...

Every so often I look down and see this little box attached to my belt from which a whole bunch of wires lead up to 4 stickers on my chest. I feel like a freakin cyborg and I have to say that it's not a bad feeling.

So, I found my way to the trials centre near Willesden without a hitch. The train was bang on time, indeed with each new journey, I'm growing to love the Silverlink Shuttle more: For 1 you rarely have to pay, for 2 you see the best grafitti in London and for 3 the very best faces..

Harlesdon/Willesden is mostly industrial warehouse zone, rundown canal, empty space, railway sidings and old terraces, everyone of which seems to be for rent or sale..

As usual, upon arrivAL, I fell in love with the place and considered moving there right away. How much are these Terraces? Could I commute? Where would I be commuting too? Are there any other farty arts types around here likely to cramp my style?

I took a right onto the canal..Half way along was a man. He was standing stock still starring forward. He was wearing a hoodie and he was starring straight ahead at the water. If you've ever seen the Banksy that used to be at the top of Columbia Road



Well, he was just like this except he wasn't a painting and he didn't appear to have any tourist information..

I walked past and nodded a smile. He stayed motionless. Next to him was a babies pushchair and inside was a large, water coller sized bottle of water or piss or something - I didn't let my eyes linger on it for too long...

The hospital I found was brand new and when i asked for the medical trials section, they said to go to the old hospital.

The old hospital building was half knocked down. It had diggers working on it. Looks great I thought. I'm in the middle of an industrial estate. There are banks on most street corners and a 24 hour Asda. I'm to entrust my life to Glaxo Smith Klien to test their asthma drugs. Whodjawot and why the hell not??

Screening was smooth. Doing a medical trial is much like working as an extra on a film. It's all smiles and faux friendliness when you're of some use and then more or less complete ignorance and contempt when you're not..

Well, I was of use today and I had my blood pressure tested and my ECG done 3 times. I lost a sample of piss and 3 syringes full of blood. I had my lung capacity tested. I answered all the questions about my medical history. I gave them my passport to photocopy and I read Heat magazine. It felt like I might be booking myself into some kind of nazi hotel..

Before I left, my Hortish Perambbulator (or whatever it's called) was fitted. I practised enhaling the drugs. I passed and 2 hours after arriving, walked back down the canal past the same hoodie man still starring straight forward into the murk as if his wife were there somewhere beneath the yellow, green water.....

PINK DAISIES

One thing that has allways bemused me is just exactly how we know that the earth has a crust, a mantle, and a core...

I mean no fucker has ever been even close to the centre of the earth, yet we're absolutely doggone certain that we know what's in the middle of this big ball of rock...

I'd like to make it known that I have no idea what's in the centre of the earth. There could be a herd of green elephants in miniskirts, a field full of raidoactive daisies or the remains of Hitler poking Uncle Saddam in the arse for all i know...

CRUST

THIS MAN IS EVIL

So after a quaint and almost normal entry yesterday, tonight I'm gonna kick off...

Basically, I want to waste a little of your time pointing out how bad Hijackalopes blog is and what a piece of shit he is as a 'person'.

To put it bluntly, this man cannot write more than 50 words at a time - in other words he's stupid. He's a terrorist sympathiser. He worships Saddam at a naked altar whilst burning tyres. He also worships the devil whilst wearing only a jockstrap and a vast ammount of hair gell..

He's a compulsive blashpema who starts every blog entry with FUCK and he dares to make music without any qualifications or talent..

Worse than any of this he keeps a small rat like creature called Kenny G in a bag in his house as if the poor rotten blighter is a bag of used clothes..

In short, this man is a friggin danger to civilization, freedom, humanity and everything we hold dear in the western world..It's all our duties to take this guy out!

So, go visit him and give him some abuse!!

HIJACKALOPE

NO FUN FOR A MONTH...

A full day of mostly nothing started with a call from Hammersmith Hospital resulting in an offer of £1400 to do a medical trial for an asthma drug.

Starting on the 22nd of this month, it'll last for about 3 weeks some of which will be inpatients and some overnight stays.

Though ideally I wouldn't have to do them, I don't mind medical trials once in a while. They work as detox. You can't drink caffeine or booze and all you have to do is sit around and laze away the day reading and thinking about how you're gonna spend the money when you come out.

A trial is also a handy source of biomechanical data on ones health and ftiness - the sort of thing you'd normally have to pay or hassell a doctor for. The last trial I did revealed I had high cholersterol (already) and more annoyingly a very low resting heart rate. My minimum is aroundabout 38bpm, the adult average is around 60bpm. Professional cyclists at the top of their game rarely get below 40 bpm so to be in that state of 'natural' fitness when i rarely exercise suggests 'I couda been a contender' and that makes me fucking mad if i think about it for too long...

My haemocrit level was a little low at 38, but that's what the pro cyclist take the drugs for, so it wouldn't have been a problem save the risk of a ban and a scandal...


Anyway, the best news today came from the Lea Valley Rivers Trust. I contacted them about doing some voluntary work on the canals around here and they got back to me saying yes. This is excellent news. Not only will I get my precious little hands dirty, but I'll get to swan about on bardges up and down the waterways like some kind of slow sea captain. I'll also be able to place my welly boots on the pulse of what's happening with the Olympics. All this is perfect for my Notes From Fish Island column..

My other main job today, was sorting out my 'Waiting' recordings.

4 or 5 years ago i was very into recording everything on minidisc. I got to realising that alot of the recordings were waits of one kind or another and so started to specifically record a series of waits..I planned and started a website to publicise these and encourgae other people to send in details of their waits and turn it into a bigger project...I found out about a week ago that someone is one the case, which saves me the job.. I contacted them and told them I had an archive of waits and he wants to hear them, so i've been listening through b4 sending...


The day's finished with a Gilbert and George documentary minus the sound. I got a message to my inbox form the driector this morning saying it was on. I guess he did a search for people with G&G in their profiles...

The no sound thing was double annoying because though I've seen them countless times, read all the books and seen a good deal of their art, I've never heard them speak other than very very briefly...

It looked like a good and interesting review of their careers, so I'll have to get otn this director about sending a copy...

ANOTHER BIG EXTRACT FROM THE JUNK

FROM: Viola
SUBJECT: We can't get away from learning.

Learning is all around - TV, newspapers, internet, conversations, etc. This can also lead to profound periods of darkness in life as well as psychological illness.
Healing is what happens to the wound.
We can explore the stories of people's lives that embrace mystery in concrete and authentic ways.
I find something of interest, I bookmark it, I share it, and I stream the listing into my website. It is also a fatal delusion. And remember, this is a BLOG, so don't expect academic rigor.
His reminder to us that time doesn't heal is an important one. The problem is, unless we face death, especially our own, we always wear the mask of fear.
Health as a Consequence of Thought and ChoiceI learned that health and illness were the consequence of the thoughts and choices people made. There are times in life when we feel a certain pull on our being as if we are being drawn towards something we cannot fully comprehend in that moment.
Are they social or are we in some significant manner more social because of them?
It is probably safe to say that we have all had experiences in life that have inspired awe and wonder. Another Voice of LifeIt all still feels glacial, this unlearning, reinvention stage that we're in.
Instead, we are lead to believe that lifelong learning is equated with economic utility. I am not trying to agree or disagree with you here, simply trying to explore it further.
We could lose the e - which is really an admission that it makes no sense anyway - and just have Learning 2.
Death is a powerful force in the quest to live a life worth living.
This kills the creative process and denigrates mystery to obsessively controlled activities and outcomes. Teachers and students are placed into a very precarious circumstance in education.
While I am not familiar with the how-to books, I know there are times when I go out and seek a precise answer to a problem I am having.
Creativity is a requirement for economic survival. It is safe to say that is the cognitive functioning of the brain cannot be adequately understood in isolation.

JUNK EMAIL OF THE LAST 2 DAYS - SELECTED LINES

FROM: STRAIGHT
SUBJECT: AS IT RATE

cause. And here, in dark, funereal stone, should rise another heads down and saying Come up again, dear. I shall only look There are few such prospects of town and village, woodland and his face, had died by her brothers hand, the wizard laughed aloud.


FROM: RUDELY
SUBJECT: SKETCH HACKSAW

Detail oriented, withexcellent communication skills.


FROM: SOLOMON
SUBJECT: Thursday: Attorneys for John Doe ask the U.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Chaos seems intuitively more normal.


FROM: ANJANETTE
SUBJECT: How's ur day goign

Hate. Love. Those are names. Rudy. say paste look Soon I am old.
Tap. Tap. Tap.


FROM: VEGA
SUBJECT: SO CALLED

The more insight into an artist's creative process I have - the greater is my joy.

Any in ourfamily, who wants to go join us.

All of the artists participating in the Awards go through atwo step selection process.

FROM: VEGAS VIP CASINO
SUBJECT: An INCREDIBLE Bonus

Gaming is Entertaining, and entertainment is the best in life.

JUNKIES AGAINST DOPE

FIRST HONDA ANNOUNCE THEY'RE PAINTING THE WORLD ON THEIR CARS TO HELP SAVE IT - AND NOW BRIDGESTONE ARE GETTING IN ON THE ACT...CAR MAKERS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT?!? SOUNDS LIKE JUNKIES AGAINST DOPE



FROM REUTERS

LUTON AIRPORT PARKWAY

OK..

So the Sting story is this.

He did an acoustic set for The Culture Show, much like the others I've witnessed and reported on in my GIOVANNI BLOG

Now being the new age kind of guy that he is, Sting had to get the right and indulgent gear to perform his song, and in this case the right and indulgent gear was deemed to be a Lute.

For those of you who might not have come across a Lute before, it's basically a small guitar like instrument as used in 'ye olde england'. Imagine, Monty Pythons The Holy Grail, think of the minstrels that accompany Brave Sir Robin, and one was probably clasping and gently plucking a Lute...

This in itself is pretty far off the mark. Rock stars and Lutes shouldn't really mix...Folk stars maybe, but not rock stars..I mean Bob Dylan could maybe get away with it, but no-one else and certainly not Sting..

Anyway, Laverne said she was doing the intro with him and there was a delay because the cameraman wasn't happy or the lights were wrong. She turned to see what the problem was and by the time she'd turned back to Sting, he 'd hoisted his leg up in the air above his head like some kind of yogic god!

Now I've nothing against Lutes or Yogic Positions, but just imagine this: A studio full of people, and at the focus of it is Sting, Lute in one hand and this fucking extended leg in the other, toes pointed skywards as if he were divining for rain...

What a picture!

The bidding war the tabloids would have indulged in for a slice of it would have been epic and extremely lucrative...Too bad no-one had a camera handy...

Anyway...I've spent all evening polishing up some new images and design for the GIOVANNI BLOG so go check it out - better still subscribe, and make me the happiest man on myspace...

LEMON STING

Well, what a fantastic spring day it was until about an hour ago!

To celebrate this, the official end of winter (WINTER IS NOW GONE, WINTER NEVER CAME, FUCK WINTER!!!) I took a ramble across Olympic park into Stratford. Once there, I played with money and when that was done with, I bought a lemon tree from Wilkinsons....

Wilkinsons is currently my favourite shop and today the choice of fruit and veg plants on display was outstanding: There was blackberry, raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, blackcurrant, fig, onions (red or white) asparagus, artichoke, grapes (red or white) apple and pear trees...

Frankly, I need a fucking garden installed here on Fish Island - There's more than 40 plants in the house and shit loads on the balcony and that's before spring planting has even started. It's getting like a rainforrest in here. Unless I get the situation under control, Sting'll be taking up residence and making a record about fish beauty using traditional instruments and native speaking men in short skirts...

Talking of which I heard a good Sting story from Lauren Laverne whilst waiting to do my KLF rockstar line last Tuesday (you're a starfucker Fullbrook)...I'll relate it in a minute just as soon as i've stuffed my face...

JUNK EMAIL OF THE DAY 02/03/07

i KNOW IT'S EARLY IN THE DAY, BUT THIS ONE'S GONNA TAKE SOME BEATING....


FROM: Gaynell Howell TITLE: It Is Fine, Dont' Worry


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JUNK MAIL OF THE DAY

I NEED TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS....WHY ON EARTH DOES JUNK MAIL COME WITH THIS CRAP/GENIUS BUILT INTO IT?? DOES ANYONE KNOW...IS IT TO DO WITH CHEATING THE FILTERS ON EMAIL PROGRAMS OR WHAT??

THIS IS THE EMAIL AS I FOUND IT UPON OPENING....


according to circumstances. What has been said of statements applies anyone so near, she looked at me a little longer, and perhaps with more process of change; and in the same way in all other cases it is by them are affected. What is meant is that these said qualities are

better and more honourable is said to have a natural priority. In standard, for if the terms great and small were used absolutely, a Occasionally, perhaps, it is necessary to coin words, if no word The term to have is used in various senses. In the first place

time of it with my Lord Advocate Grant, the best of ways; but to go to the constitution of every appropriate subject. For when a thing has affirmation or denial are not propositions; yet these two are said properly so called have, we may safely say, been enumerated.

his face was sly and handsome. I thought his eye took me in, but could intermediate, but those in the case of which no such necessity yellow, and such colours, though qualities, have no contraries. term small, nor much of little. And even though a man should

predicated; for it is those, as we proved, in the case of which case of a mans height; for he is said to have a height of three plain from the following facts: Of a pair of contraries such that they follows necessarily that he will forthwith definitely know that also

If one of two contraries is a quality, the other will also be a It may be questioned whether it is true that no substance is and all those qualities which are classed as dispositions. However character and difficult to displace, unless some great mental upheaval

thus destruction is the contrary of generation, diminution of remains unaltered, but it is at one time true, at another false, cannot be reversed. If there is the species water-animal, there will rudders. Thus we cannot use the terms reciprocally, for the word

that which is less; by less, less than that which is greater. attributes are removed and that alone is left in virtue of which it the subject. We proved, moreover, that those contraries have an accurate if we coined some word like ruddered as the correlative

But the annihilation of perception does not involve that of the teeth, but these are not called toothless or blind. better and more honourable is said to have a natural priority. In of contraries which have an intermediate. For under certain conditions

inequality are predicated of it. Each of the aforesaid quantities is which is headed, than as that of an animal, for the animal does properly so called have, we may safely say, been enumerated.

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

At the risk of destroying all good sense of moral and critical hardness, I have to admit tonight, that after having just watched and thoroughly enjoyed it, Four Weddings and a Funeral is going on my Favourite Films list..

Sure, it's a dippy middle class love story, but those are always the best when done well (love stories that is).

What's more, it has some damn fine observation, makes me laugh and with all the good will in the world can't be seen as anything other than well executed in it's aims.

So, I'm no longer a hardman, but such is life..

Anyway, I might redeem my cred a little this weekend, when, unless they cut it, I'm gonna be on TV very briefly talking up The KLF aka The K Foundations deserving of a plaque on the Jura outhouse where they burnt their million quid..

I only have a silent TV and no recorder of any kind, so if anyone can tape it onto something clever like DVD and send me it I'll be happy to exchange it for a copy of the complete KLF colection which comprises all their music and vids and films on 4 DVDs...

BBC2: The Culture Show, sometime around about 7pm..

Oh, and their's a dour and rather boring review of Bryan Ferry and Maximo Park perfoming on said show on my Giovanni blog as well as plenty of other new material...